Picture this:
You step into your residence hall oasis (aka your dorm room) after a long, hard day of classes, meetings, and social up-keepings. Your legs burn, your stomach growls, but all you can focus on is that nice, warm, unmade bed to soothe your aches and pains. A power nap before your mountains of homework always helps.
Suddenly, when your eyes finally focus - you see him.
The smell of his Chipotle burrito makes your oasis seem more like a giant onion. His chewing rivals the sound of any cow's, and his laptop is blasting his music (or what he calls music...), despite his headphones being within reach. The chair at his desk is pushed out further than it should be and you nearly break your appendages while dodging the random piles of clothes and Kleenexes. A nodded hello is the only exchange between you and your roommate. The hopes of a nap begin to dwindle as you sit at your computer, complaining to your friends over an instant message conversation about how annoying your roommate is. Instead of asking him to put on his headphones, you sit disgruntled and angry.
Sound familiar?
As soon as we all reach the state of independence from our family, most of us are put in the volatile 'live with a stranger' situation. Although I'm focusing on the college roommate relationship, many can relate to scenarios such as the one above.
After living 18 years in a household in which you know every member's pet peeves, annoying habits, and other things 18 years of living together can bring, you are forced to discover someone else's 18 years of natural behaviors. It's an at times exciting, but also, a frustrating process.
I have one year of experience under my belt in terms of dealing with a roommate. Me and my roommate from last year got lucky - we clicked instantly and had no major issues. Sure, maybe we both annoyed each other at times but not to the point where we were ripping our hair out.
I've also watched friends deal with pretty dramatic roommate incidents. Most of these, however, could have been prevented with a simple dose of honesty. If you want him to clean up his mess, politely ask him. If you want her to be quiet so you can study, or take a nap, ask her if she wouldn't mind going out to the lounge. If he is absolutely disgusting and the very sight and sound of him annoys you...Tell your friends about it. If they can't relate, they can at least sympathize and have a good laugh over it.
Unless they are stuck in elementary school, politely voicing a frustration is something that, as adults, we should be equipped for. Some, of course, are better than others at it, and some avoid conflict like the plague. In the end, for a better you and a better roommate relationship, it helps to 'bite the bullet,' as a friend said, and be honest.
I have been there.
Posted by: Jeffrey | February 15, 2008 at 10:09 AM
I've been there too. I have some interesting stories that I can share with my grandkids...
Posted by: Roland Miranda | February 22, 2008 at 01:06 AM